Blogging From The Middle Seat

This weekend started with a trip to visit family in Florida. Having moved to the nether regions of the Northern Midwest last year, there is no such thing as a direct flight to Florida for me anymore – previous trips have resulted in stops, some unplanned and overnight, in Detroit, Minnesota, and Chicago.

Chicago was the big city destination for me this weekend and the flight to the Windy City was easy, not terribly full, and thankfully uneventful.

The ride out of Chicago is usually stuffed and this trip was no different. I had been assigned the dreaded middle seat in a row of three. False hope shined its beacon at me as the doors were about to close and the seat to my left was still empty. Just as I had finished moving my things and myself into the empty seat, creating a void that seemed as glorious as the Grand Canyon to me and my row mate, I spotted a gentleman boarding the plane and looking into the general direction of my row. Hoping against hope that he would find refuge in any other row but mine, I watched him closely, looking for any sign that I wouldn’t end up the proverbial middle of a traveler sandwich. To rip a line from the motion picture classic “Airplane”: No dice, Chicago. I would be moving back to the middle seat, trying to work on my computer with my arms angled in a way that would make a T-Rex feel sorry for me. (I hold no ill will toward the large man who displaced me from my window seat – partly because he had every right to that seat no matter how late he was and mostly because he is presently sitting next to me and could overpower me by expending less effort than it would take to discredit Britney Spears’ reputation.)

As my fear lingers that my fellow passenger to my left may sneak a peak at this drivel, it occurs to me that moments ago I was debating airplane computer etiquette.

The woman seated to my right extracted her computer about the same time I did. She powered up her Apple iMac as I turned on my Windows laptop and what transpired could have been a cheaply scripted Apple TV spot had someone been filming. Seemingly seconds after the Apple Lady fired up it appeared that she was ripping a DVD into her computer for future playback. While I waited for my computer to boot, she zipped into iTunes and set up a playlist – moments later it was to a picture viewer to review family shots from Christmas. I chuckled aloud as I sat there watching the hourglass on my screen, wondering how much the fat PC guy in the Apple commercials made for pretending to go through this stuff.

The etiquette debate that raged through my mind was caused by her iTunes screen. For reasons I don’t actually understand, I was really curious as to what she had in her library. As a general rule, I only show interest in my own business and even that’s got a spotty track record. But I felt compelled to sneak a glance at her library despite my best efforts not to. And when she got to the home pictures, I had no chance to resist looking. She may as well have been standing on her head and singing the entire Vanilla Ice catalog in French.

How awful is it that I wanted to see her digital media (no euphemism intended)? I assume airplane etiquette would forbid a glance at someone’s stuff, but how can it be avoided? I think the general assumption should be that when on a plane and forced to sit with T-Rex arms, literally touching two other people, your personal stuff will be out there for your fellow passengers to see. Work on a laptop at your own risk.

Oh, one more thing. To Mr. Big on my left: your choice of clothing today was striking. It’s been a pleasure sitting next to you. My only regret is we couldn’t extend the flight another few hours.

When not flying with T-Rex arms, visit The DVR Spot Store for a large TiVo DVR selection and information. Not your game? Try The Monop Shop for everthing Monopoly.